Hello Lovely Readers!
Would you call yourself nice? Is the first compliment people give you is that ‘you are really nice"?
Yes?
You’r fucked!
This piece is only for nice people. Everyone else read tomorrow
Okay, tell me, when someone compliments you with ‘awee you’re so nice’ then how does that make you feel? I am nice too and I have never liked this as a compliment. Being nice is not a good thing people. Trust me if I knew how to change my attitude in life, I would. I just do not know how to be someone who is not “nice”. And please, I am not self-gloating — far from it. Being nice has only gotten me loneliness and betrayal.
Back in India, whenever I was complemented with this ‘awe you are so nice’, I knew they were saying one of these - you are fucking boring, you suck, you please stay away from my jam, I have already forgotten about you, awe you poor thing, the world will eat you alive sweety, you need to toughen the hell up, without me you won’t survive so I am gonna help you, you are just like me and we both have no hope. And I learned to accept this side of me but never loved it. Of course, people who love me were trying to say that I should toughen up a bit and not let the world walk over me. Being nice does not equal being a pushover, I know that but mostly when you are nice, you not only let people walk over you, you roll out a carpet for them. Awee, you must be tired of hurting me. Here, walk on this carpet and stomp all over me and cause me any pain you want to cause, and then we can discuss it later so you don’t feel guilty about it.
Awee, you must be tired of hurting me. Here, walk on this malmal and stomp all over me and cause me any pain you want to cause, and then we can discuss later so you don’t feel guilty about it.
YUK, IT SICKENS ME. AND I DO THIS ALL THE TIME. WHAT A FUCKING STORY.
In the US, people really tried to teach me that being nice is rare and I should be proud of this trait of mine. Now see, in India, I was prepared as I knew being nice is not a trait worth a whole lot. But here, I let my guard down. I fully embraced the nice parts of my personality. I rolled out the carpet/malmal in m daily life and later discussed how their actions caused them guilt and what can I now do to help them feel a bit better about themselves. I became a fully renowned pushover.
What about you?
Do you have people around you when you need them? Does someone drive 2 hours to come pick you up? Does someone call you to a party when they call your other friends or its’s it more so a week later? Do new people you meet start giving you life advice as you so desperately need it all the time? None of these people are bad. It’s all us. We are always here, waiting. We are not going anywhere and that is a big problem.
Being nice means we are an afterthought. We could be right in the space but still an afterthought.
The self-realization I am having is that I have always dreamt of a life
You know that perfect life that you dream of when everything else around you is doomed? This image becomes an anchor and a goal at the same time. Before you know it, you are moving in that direction with everything you got. For example, last week only, I was telling Mr. Hanson that we should start having a weekly Sunday meeting where we actually sit down and start discussing what we want from life and move in that direction with a clear agenda. The life I am planning, and steering towards is that life I dreamt of in the past and I am attached to that dream. So attached that I don’t know what to do if that does not happen. And I am realizing that I am not being smart about this because let’s face it. I am nice and it is never going to get easy for me. So I might as well change my anchor to a somewhat more realistic image of an average life where everything gets messy from time to time and I will continue to be an afterthought — forever.
But I don’t know how to let go of that life. My anchor is set really tight and removing it might leave my boat astray floating in the vast dangerous sea with limited resources. I can float till the end of time and just see life in passing but what a waste of all the other attributes that I think I am capable of doing.
Oh, you who consider themselves not that nice are also reading this? We need something from you
Do you know that scene in movies where this sad-looking person gets a makeover from the hot chic in school? We need that. Anyone here who thinks they can help the nice ones get a grip on life, sprinkle your wisdom here, please. How do let people stomp over us? How do we not become an afterthought?
Wow. That sounded like a nightmare. I had someone tell me I wasn’t nice this week and it PISSED me off!! It was a pretty innocent comment and I like to think I’m tough. I consider myself direct and open. Even at work. It has bitten me in the ass since I’ve been at this job. But the person I supposedly offended is a major twat. So, f-that Karen!!
Anyway, I don’t know if I have a point. But I say BE YOURSELF!! Be true to yourself! I like you the way you are.
❤️